Just read this article online just now. It was a discussion about brief relationship that could easily be mistaken as true love. A sentence struck me so hard that I decided to stop and think.
"Maybe we lacked confidence in ourselves, and the idea of having a partner made us more confident."
Lately I felt an attraction towards somebody within my small little clique and this attraction is growing day by day. It is not easy to finally feel attracted to someone again and I feel like I am building a barrier, a wall surrounding my heart, using my brain to control my feelings. It never is easy to control yourself this way because the origin of feelings is the heart. Something is stopping me from going the way my heart wants. I strongly believe is that I dont think happiness is coming for me yet cause I should deserve karma from whatever I did for the past 6 months. Things are not going the same way as how the young me would want to live. Karma for playing around in clubs should make me undeserving of love for the time being. So I do not think I am actually suitable to fall for him and he definitely deserves someone better.
Also, I am not sure whether the feeling for him is real. I do not know whether I just want to seek for comfort within him instead of truly liking him as a person.
